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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26869627">The Fortnite Fishing Fundraiser Farm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver33650/pseuds/Silver33650'>Silver33650</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fortnite (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Explicit Language, Fishing, Fortnitemares, Gen, Halloween, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inappropriate Humor, Meta, Satire, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, get rich quick schemes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:07:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26869627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver33650/pseuds/Silver33650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a time of crossovers, one villain tries to restart his empire through unconventional means, until his rival throws a wrench in his plans. Unfortunately, the details don't go over well with a certain purple cube.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Fortnite Fishing Fundraiser Farm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: the author respects other players' right to play the game as they see fit, and is a lifelong fan of Animal Crossing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a beautiful day on the island. The sun was shining, the battle bus had just finished its route, and roughly half of the hundred souls formerly on board had already been destroyed by Wolverine whilst trying to earn this season's secret skin. </p><p>The other half of the group was at the Authority. Each player was equipped with a pro fishing rod and stationed at a fishing spot, and when the fishing spot was extinguished, the fisherman was promptly shot and replaced with a new one as new players spawned in and the fishing spots regenerated. It was an incredibly efficient system, which made sense as it had been conceived by the island's foremost expert on planning: the notorious Chaos Agent. </p><p>Presently he sat on a lawn chair and sipped a martini because he felt it was a suitably evil thing to do while his unpaid workers worked. He pondered whether it was possible for sludge to tan. He was just thinking of new and exciting ways to be the island's evil overlord when something blocked the sun. He pulled off his mask and was surprised to see his old nemesis hovering over him. </p><p>"What the fuck is going on here?" Midas asked. </p><p>"Oh good," Chaos Agent said. "Since you're here, you can help!"</p><p>"Help what?"</p><p>Chaos Agent stood and spread his arms wide. "Welcome to the Fortnite Fishing Fundraiser Farm! Here, my employees are working hard to catch the elusive Midas flopper, so that we can turn weapons to legendary and sell them in great numbers for great sums of money."</p><p>"This sounds like a phishing attempt."</p><p>"Well, Shadow needs the money. Evil empire don't run itself, as you can see." He gestured to the askew Shadow sign on the wall behind him. "Your participation will help restore the Authority to its former glory and ensure future generations are properly guided by darkness and chaos."</p><p>"First off: no," Midas said. "Secondly, it's funny you should mention that, because that's the reason I'm here. I'd like to buy the Authority."</p><p>Chaos Agent laughed. "With what money?"</p><p>"In case you fucking forgot, I can turn things to gold. Building a defective weather machine and being eaten by a shark did, admittedly, put a dent in the finances, but then I remembered my net worth is 'all of it', and that problem just kind of went away." </p><p>Midas then produced a check for a great sum of money and handed it to Chaos Agent, who inspected it with a healthy amount of suspicion but could find no fault with it. He considered using an emote, but was leery about diverting the plot any more than it already had. "And what, pray tell, are you planning to do with the Authority?"</p><p>"Turn it into a haunted house. Fortnitemares, you know."</p><p>"But I wanted to bring the Storm King back."</p><p>Midas shrugged. "You snooze, you lose."</p><p>Chaos Agent sighed and told everyone in the vicinity of the Authority that they were fired. However, very few people left, although they did not continue fishing once they saw that Midas was there. And thus Midas found himself surrounded by simps. </p><p>Midas saw this opportunity for what it was, because the thing about turning things to gold is that you actually need things, and things were sometimes hard to come by in this season as the developers had nerfed the chest spawn rate. "Hello agents," he said. "The first one to catch a Midas flopper gets to eat the Midas flopper." He winked. "Go." And thus they all returned to their fishing. </p><p>This made Chaos Agent angry as Midas had now stolen back the Authority and the Fortnite Fishing Fundraiser Farm, and Chaos Agent was not looking forward to having to return empty-handed to Steamy Stacks, especially since it was so annoying to have to go around Upstate New York nowadays. So Chaos Agent also picked up a pro fishing rod and started fishing as well. Meanwhile, Midas sat on Chaos Agent's lawn chair and browsed the Internet for suitable Halloween decorations. </p><p>It was not very long before Kevin the Cube appeared at the Authority in a blaze of purple lightning. </p><p>"It is I, Kevin, the avatar of the storm, darkness, and social media news feed algorithms," he said. "I have come to end this sorry excuse for a match because none of you are fucking playing the goddamn game right, you bunch of filthy casuals."</p><p>This surprised even Chaos Agent. "Fuck," he said. "Kevin's a sweat."</p><p>"This, coming from a guy whose greatest definite contribution to the plot thus far has been watching television," Kevin said. "This is a battle royale, not <em>Animal Crossing</em>. You fuckers better get back to killing each other before I turn you all into a dark variant item shop bundle."</p><p>"That's fine," said Chaos Agent, who had been through the whole reskin thing before, "as long as it costs vbucks."</p><p>"No, it'd cost real money. Get to murdering."</p><p>This upset everyone except Midas, whose wealth was so vast that he would not be deterred from spending real world money on a free-to-play video game. So everyone else scattered across the island in the hopes of finding strong enough superpowers that could defeat Kevin, but they were all defeated by a Dynamo with Iron Man's superpowers who easily won the match and proclaimed Fortnite a dead game because it was too easy. However, Kevin had already turned Midas into a dark variant available in the item shop and made a frankly obscene amount of money, and thus Fortnite was funded until the end of time. </p><p>The end. </p>
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